She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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