Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
