Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
