dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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