if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
