Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
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did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize