your room smells of hookers.
And success
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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