dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
