? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just made out with a guy for $7.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
