she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
