I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
