I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
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There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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