I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He has the fingertips of a God
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
