Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
