his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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