that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
