I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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