We're like a lot better than the average bears
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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