How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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