You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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