This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
