Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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