Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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