Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You are the jesus of drinking
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize