the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
