just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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