I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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