He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
