Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
