She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
