omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
