Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize