Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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