i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how do flat chested girls get laid?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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