Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
