Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize