Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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