Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
