The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
