where does the pee come out of this thing
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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