I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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