You don't have asthma, your pregnant
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
