I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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