is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
