you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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