You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
