I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
