dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
