So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
