but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
