but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
