I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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