Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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