my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize