My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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